I know it has been an extremely long time since I have written anything. And it isn’t that I haven’t had anything to discuss, plenty of things going on right now for sure. Erin and I spent a week in Ireland in May and had a fantastic time. I earned my third stripe in Jiu-Jitsu and took my first advanced/no gi class. I have been motoring right along in Muay Thai class. And there was the sudden passing of the Japanese legend Misawa on January 13 and my attendance at ROH’s Manhattan Mayhem III on the same day. The release of several new albums I was anticipating: Crossing the Rubicon by the Sounds, Battle for the Sun by Placebo, and Back and Forth by Pete Yorn. I also had to endure my first Father’s Day without my beloved Father. So, yes, there has been plenty to talk about.
I have contemplated starting one of these quite a few times since we returned home from Ireland and yet I haven’t written a thing. I think there are several reasons for this. The first being that I have just been extremely busy, I am training three times a week: Tuesday night is beginners Jiu-Jitsu, Thursday night is Muay Thai, and Saturday afternoon is advanced/no gi Jiu-Jitsu. I also get up at 5 AM every morning to get in some cardio before work with additional exercises on the days I’m not training. Factor into that a full time job, a daily commute that takes 90 minutes each way, a lovely wife, and a fantastic daughter and you can see that my “free time” is pretty limited.
Another reason is that I really wanted to make this blog completely uncensored. Yet I am realizing that this is a complete impossibility. Anyone can Google anyone nowadays and along with that comes the ability to check up on activities such as blogging. I don’t believe in hiding or that there is any strength in blogging anonymously. Anyway can be brave behind a mask and without consequences, I like to stand behind what I say so that’s not an option for me. However, I do have a family to take care of, and they come before my freedom to mouth off across the internet.
Anyway, on with the blogging and this one is going to be a corker! As one of my Father’s Day gifts I received A Dull Roar: What I Did on My Summer Deracination 2006 by Henry Rollins. I was extremely excited to receive this as I am a HUGE fan of gold old Hank and own and have read and re-read all of his books (well, except for Roomanitarian which I own, started reading, and for whatever reason, didn’t get around to finishing, but I will once I finish this one, though I will have to rescue it from its cardboard tomb in the attic.)
As is always the case with missives from Hank, I totally and completely love the shit out of this book. This book is a collection of journal entries from back in 2006 and I absolutely love how after every entry he catalogs what he ate that day as well as his work outs. Somewhere along the line old Hank became a quasi vegetarian (he still eats fish, eggs, and dairy) which totally surprised me as I remembered earlier books where he mentioned his cupboards only containing beef chili and him making fun of vegetarians as recently as his spoken word CD Think Tank which came out back in 1998. Hank is also apparently a big fan of carrot juice, cream cheese bagels, sesame bars, and ice bars. This is a great read and Henry’s dedication to his work is simply staggering. I am happy to report that I am as big a fan of his as ever. I am definitely going to need to upload all my Rollins spoken word CDs onto my iTunes so that I can throw them onto the old iPod. And I would love to get Talk Is Cheap Vols. 1-4. I am also really looking forward to his next book, A Preferred Blur: Reflections, Inspections, and Travel in All Directions which will be released on August 1, 2009.
Moving on! I have quickly come to realize that I have become much more comfortable being alone than I was in years passed. I went back and read a lot of old journal entries and they reminded me, not that I needed much reminding, how much I used to hate being alone. I seemingly never, ever wanted to be left to my own devices. I know that a great deal of that had to do with my self esteem issues and my crippling need and desire for everyone I met to like me. Nowadays I have no problems at all with time to myself. And I have plenty to do with that time when I have it. Be it reading, catching up with DVD watching or the occasional quality time with my PS3!
I know that in the past, not here, but other place I have addressed the “who shit in your cereal” issue before but it could definitely use another go around. Look, I’m not the type of dude who walks around with a huge goofy smile on his face all the time; it’s just not my natural expression. However, I also don’t walk around looking like someone raped my dog with a red hot poker. There are several people I see in my daily travels who constantly wear the “someone took a big dump in my cornflakes mask” and it’s fucking ridiculous. This one woman, I see her at least 2 or 3 times a week, always looks at me like I punched her wheel chair bound great-grandmother in the face or something. I don’t even know this woman! And yet I often find her staring at me with that look upon her face, I just want to close my book, pull out my ear phones, walk over to her, and say “may I help you?” People need to just chill the fuck out and get over themselves.
I had an interesting conversation with some of the upper belts after no gi class on Saturday. We were all talking about how grateful we were to train where we did and to have the instructors and training partners that we had. One of the guys mentioned despite the fact that we were located on Long Island, not one “typical Long Island douchebag” could be found among us. Now, if you don’t know what he was referring to, I suggest you check out either Roosevelt Field or the Source Mall and cruise around for a bit. You know the guy, polo shirt, blow out hair cut, sunglasses that your girlfriend should be wearing. He surmised that this was due to the fact that these were the type of guys who would rather talk about fighting, than do it. I bunch of us also joked that you should have had to either been tapped out or tapped someone out at least a few times before you could wear a TapouT t-shirt. I suggested that perhaps a screening at check out followed by a quick lesson in Jiu-Jitsu prior to purchase would be a fun idea! I kiid I kiid!
Monster then let us know that a majority of the guys he has come across who train in MMA really are not looking to be true Martial Artists and can be complete assholes. However at our academy, people are looking to learn the Martial Arts and are friendly, helpful, and respectful. I cannot stress enough how luck I am to train with such a great group of individuals.
Alright, I think I have rambled on long enough for one installment. I hope that you enjoyed reading and I will try not to go so long in between entries. Take care and keep your head up.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Training Hard
I know, I know, it’s been quite a while since my last update on here. Certainly not my intention as I have been meaning to write for some time now, however, life intervenes as they say. I continue to train at Serra Jiu-Jitsu every week and have recently added a new ingredient to the mix: Muay Thai. I am now training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu twice a week and Muay Thai once a week. I am hoping that this increased training schedule will help to improve upon my recent fitness advances as well as making me a more rounded martial artist.
I have now been training with Team Serra for a little over six months and have consequently lost 15.5 lbs and several inches off my waist. I’m down to about 155 lbs and now and still have a bit to go but I am very encouraged by my progress. Shorts that were snug last summer were falling off me in such a way when I attempted to wear them two weeks ago that Erin immediately insisted I buy new shorts. Jeans and t-shirts I haven’t been able to wear since my honeymoon two years ago are fitting me better than they did back then. I have been eating better but I do believe that I owe 90% of this positive change in my appearance to my instructors and training partners over at Serra BJJ. Please check out our recently revamped web site at http://www.serrajitsu.com/ for more information. I would again like to especially thank Matt & Nick Serra, Ron Witkowski, Paul “Opie” Fahey, William “Billy Ho” Hofacker, Gabriel “Monsta” Toribio, Frank “Bam Bam” Oyague, and Gil Renschak for all their efforts in training me and my training partner Chris Brady for repping and rolling with me.
My love for BJJ increases exponentially every time I step on the mat and my desire to be better increases with every new technique I learn. I cannot even express how much BJJ has done for me and how I feel it has improved my overall quality of life. It really does become a way of life and latch onto your heart and soul if you give it your all.
I started doing BJJ a little over a month after my Father’s passing. I was looking for something to help me take my mind off my loss and to help me to, at least partially, attempt to fill the gaping hole that was now in my heart, soul, and life. I wanted to do something that would impact my life in a positive way and I have to say that it has more than fit the bill. I have met some really great people who really care about each other and genuinely want to see each other grow and improve.
I have previously mentioned the positive physical effects of my training and I also believe that it has helped me become more focused and determined. Training three times a week has given me some structure in my life outside of my job and has helped me to focus on something positive instead of the negative feeling of loss and emptiness.
Nothing will ever be able to replace having my Father in my life, but Jiu-Jitsu has certainly been a great form of therapy for me and really helped me to work through my grief in a positive fashion. I also feel that my Father would be proud to see me dedicating myself to the “gentle art” and applying myself to something so positive and worthwhile.
Until next time, keep your head up.
I have now been training with Team Serra for a little over six months and have consequently lost 15.5 lbs and several inches off my waist. I’m down to about 155 lbs and now and still have a bit to go but I am very encouraged by my progress. Shorts that were snug last summer were falling off me in such a way when I attempted to wear them two weeks ago that Erin immediately insisted I buy new shorts. Jeans and t-shirts I haven’t been able to wear since my honeymoon two years ago are fitting me better than they did back then. I have been eating better but I do believe that I owe 90% of this positive change in my appearance to my instructors and training partners over at Serra BJJ. Please check out our recently revamped web site at http://www.serrajitsu.com/ for more information. I would again like to especially thank Matt & Nick Serra, Ron Witkowski, Paul “Opie” Fahey, William “Billy Ho” Hofacker, Gabriel “Monsta” Toribio, Frank “Bam Bam” Oyague, and Gil Renschak for all their efforts in training me and my training partner Chris Brady for repping and rolling with me.
My love for BJJ increases exponentially every time I step on the mat and my desire to be better increases with every new technique I learn. I cannot even express how much BJJ has done for me and how I feel it has improved my overall quality of life. It really does become a way of life and latch onto your heart and soul if you give it your all.
I started doing BJJ a little over a month after my Father’s passing. I was looking for something to help me take my mind off my loss and to help me to, at least partially, attempt to fill the gaping hole that was now in my heart, soul, and life. I wanted to do something that would impact my life in a positive way and I have to say that it has more than fit the bill. I have met some really great people who really care about each other and genuinely want to see each other grow and improve.
I have previously mentioned the positive physical effects of my training and I also believe that it has helped me become more focused and determined. Training three times a week has given me some structure in my life outside of my job and has helped me to focus on something positive instead of the negative feeling of loss and emptiness.
Nothing will ever be able to replace having my Father in my life, but Jiu-Jitsu has certainly been a great form of therapy for me and really helped me to work through my grief in a positive fashion. I also feel that my Father would be proud to see me dedicating myself to the “gentle art” and applying myself to something so positive and worthwhile.
Until next time, keep your head up.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Being sick, parental responsibilities, CD eating dogs, philosophy, conversing, ROH’s Seventh Anniversary Show, this is a long one…be warned!
Most people who know me know that I am lucky in that I rarely ever get sick or sick enough to miss time at work. I get injured here and there, but I am rarely sick. Well, that caught up to me this past week as I was hit with one hell of a sinus cold. Bad enough that it forced me to miss work Thursday and Friday and Jiu Jitsu class on Saturday morning. And you know that I had to really be in the shitter to miss Jiu Jitsu class. Hell, I dislocated my shoulder and didn’t miss any classes although I was unable to roll (spar) for several months.
This weekend was a set up to be a very busy one for me. My daughter had her Girl Scouts Holiday Night Performance on Friday night from 8 PM to 10 PM which I could not miss, especially since my Mother had dinner plans with my brother and sister-in-law to celebrate their anniversary and my wife was in AC with a friend for the night. Saturday I had tickets for Ring of Honor’s Seventh Anniversary Show, and Sunday we had tickets to take my daughter to the circus.
Thursday morning I was feeling like death when my alarm went off and I really was having trouble getting up. My head felt so heavy and my throat was killing me. My wife urged me to stay home, especially with the weekend we had ahead, she thought that if I attempted going to work I would get really, really sick. So I called out of work, kissed my wife goodbye, and went back to sleep for about 4 or 5 more hours.
I was awakened by Leia crying at the bedroom door. I instantly knew what it was; our lab Luke has a new hobby, eating my CDs! The room he hangs out includes two large media storage towers, one houses my CD collection and the other houses my DVD collection. Luke has taken to removing CDs from the rack and destroying the cases and in some instances, the CDs themselves. The first victims were several irreplaceable mix CDs that Erin made for me complete with homemade inserts and CD labels. The next victim was my special edition copy of Release by the Pet Shop Boys, followed by a limited edition copy of the Psychedelic Furs Greatest Hits. On this day he had gotten his grubby little paws on Antics by Interpol.
At this point we really do not know what to do about Luke’s new irritating habit. First and foremost he could really hurt himself ingesting the shards of plastic from the cases or the booklets which are stapled together. The secondary concern of course is that I have worked really hard over a period of approximately eighteen years to build this collection and who the hell knows how much money I have spent on it at this point. Many CDs in my collection are from England, Germany, and Japan and many more have tremendous sentimental value. We may have to resort to crating Luke again as he cannot seem to keep out of trouble when left to his own devices.
Alas, back to the busy weekend! So, despite being mostly unconscious for the past two days passing most of the time in my bed with my husky Leia curled up next to me I dragged myself into the shower and then off to the elementary school to catch my daughter’s Girl Scout troop’s presentation of Passover. They did a pretty good job for a bunch of gentiles with my daughter being the only one of the lot with any Jewish blood. She’s a quarter Jewish thanks to my Mom’s side. I sat there for a little over two hours with my head heavy from Dayquil and sinusitis but I made it through, awake. It was then back home where I got Lyric tucked in for bed and headed off to bed myself.
Saturday morning arrived way too quickly for my tastes and it was up and time to get Lyric off to religion class. I decided as I got her up that I was not going to be able to make it to Jiu Jitsu class that day. My head felt like it weighed 50 pounds and I could not breathe through my nose in the slightest. These things are not conducive to a productive class. So, after Lyric’s class I brought her back home and had bagels with her and my Mom and then at my Mom’s insistence it was back to bed for me. Again I slept for several hours. Erin finally made it back home from AC and I was able to spend an hour with her before heading off to the city for a night of ROH action.
Right before the train arrived I bumped into an old friend I had not seen since my first year of college. I had bumped into her on facebook a few months ago but we just befriended each other and that was it. So, we rode into the city together and caught up on what we had been doing and how our lives had gone since we last spoke. It’s always good to run into old friends again and catch up. It’s one of my most favorite things actually.
I met up with my buddy Bob outside the Hammerstein Ballroom and we discussed the night’s show and what we were looking forward to catching that night. Bob was shocked when I did not make my usually pilgrimage to the merchandise table for new DVDs. I explained that I had just booked a trip to Ireland in May and as result wouldn’t be making any purchases. Bob was still shocked at my resolve, especially given the fact that throughout the night ROH kept announcing the buy 3 get 1 free sale they were having!
The first half of the show was incredibly lackluster and had both me and the Bob shaking our heads. The 6 Man Ultimate Endurance between Necro Butcher, Tyler Black and Delirious vs. Jimmy Jacobs, Brodie Lee and Austin Aries was absolutely horrible. The rules were convoluted and ridiculous and many fans found it hard to follow what the stipulations were despite Bobby Cruise announcing them in between falls. And I am getting really tired of Jimmy Jacobs vs everyone who used to be in the Age of the Fall. And on another note, what a crappy group, no one ever stays! Jacobs is the only left from the original quartet of himself, Black, Necro, and Lacey. Delirious was added on and his now out with the group now standing as Jacobs, Brodie Lee, occasionally MsChif, and occasionally Alison Wonderland. And what the hell is with Aries new gimmick? I get the change in attire and attitude, but there is no rule out there that says if you change your gimmick you suddenly forget how to wrestle! It’s cheap heat!
The show picked up steam in the second half with the mystery tag partner match which pitted Bison Smith accompanied by Prince Nana and Dirty Ernie Osiris and the returning Crown Jewel of the Embassy Jimmy Rave against American Dragon Bryan Danielson and the returning Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana. This match really got the crowd into the show as people popped huge for Jimmy’s return and even bigger for the return of Cabana.
D-Lo Brown vs. Jay Briscoe deflated the crowd again as no one was into Brown’s NYC debut and the match was a really crappy one to boot. The no DQ tag title match got people back into things but left me scratching my head. Steen was clearly injured going into the match and yet they didn’t move the belts off them. Hopefully we don’t head into a situation where again the tag champs were injured and they had a chance to move the belts in a match, chose not to, and then stripped them of the belts and had a tournament. I do not want that nonsense again.
We then got Nigel vs. KENTA for the ROH World Title and Nigel came in with his arm heavily taped up. Throughout the match it was terribly obvious that Nigel was really, legitimately injured. I can see why they didn’t move the belt here though; KENTA is a NOAH wrestler, on loan to ROH and cannot be counted on for consistent appearances. However, I do see the belt coming off Nigel sooner rather than later as I believe he is going to need surgery on his often injured arm.
Post show Bob and I headed off to our usual post show meal at the beloved Tick Tock Diner. We discussed Bob’s upcoming move, my trip to Ireland, some funny stories about my past and are doubts about ROH’s current direction under Booker Adam Pearce. As always it was a great time chatting it up with Bob and I look forward to our next show together.
Upon making it back into Penn Station I ran into my old buddy Vujeyva who I know through a friend’s younger brother. I often bump into him at shows as he is a fellow ROH fan. We asked each other what train we were on and when I realized his train was a half hour later than mine, to go to a town 5 minutes away from mine, I offered for him to hop on my train with me and I would give him a ride back to his car. He took me up on the offer and we spent the time conversing about ROH, other wrestling, music, what everyone from the “Group” had been up to, work, and other various topics. It was cool not to take the train by myself for once and I really enjoyed chatting it up with him.
I got home at 1:30 AM, took some Nyquil, and passed out until Erin woke me at 1 PM on Sunday afternoon. She offered repeatedly to take Lyric to the circus on her own but I just couldn’t do that to Lyric. I dragged my ass out of bed and into the shower and got myself dressed. Then Erin informed me that the night before Luke had gotten to one of my all time favorite albums, Ritual De Lo Habitual by Jane’s Addiction. I was completely incensed at this point. Erin blockaded the CD and DVD cases with chairs and a vacuum before we left and then it was off to the circus!
The circus was, well the circus. This is the second time we went in two years and I have to say, it doesn’t do anything for me and I would really not rather go anymore. I would also rather they not subject animals to the bull shit that they do. Both these circus trips have been through the Girl Scouts as I would not have sought to go otherwise.
After the circus we met up with my Mom at the Fred Robster for dinner (Richard Jenni fans will get this) and had an enjoyable meal as a family. Afterwards we dropped Lyric off at her mother’s and headed back home. Thus ending my way too busy a weekend for someone with a ridiculously bad sinus cold.
Before I sign off on this way too long blog, those of you who have been hounding me for an entry have now gotten what you asked for, I thought I would hit on one more thing. I received Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance as a Christmas gift from one of the doctors I work for. I have just recently been able to start reading the book as I received so many books for Christmas this year. And let me tell you, when you have a 90 minute commute to and from work each day, books are always a welcome present! This book can at times be a harrowing read and there have been several instances when I have had to put it down and just focus on the music on my iPod as my head has been spinning a bit. I have to say though; it has made me think of one of my favorite philosophical theories. That is that no man can stand in the same river twice, as both the man and the river are in a constant state of flux. The river will never be the same, and neither will the man.
I often think of the past, way more than I probably should, and change. We may look back on good times we had and good friends we share them with and these friends may no longer be a part or as big a part of our lives as they once were. We should not look back at this with sorrow but with joy at remembering the times we had. We must also remember that we are not that person anymore and neither are they. We should not constantly lament that they may no longer be in our lives but just enjoy the fact that they once were and the times we had with them. Times change, people come and go, but memories last forever.
Thanks for listening to me ramble again.
This weekend was a set up to be a very busy one for me. My daughter had her Girl Scouts Holiday Night Performance on Friday night from 8 PM to 10 PM which I could not miss, especially since my Mother had dinner plans with my brother and sister-in-law to celebrate their anniversary and my wife was in AC with a friend for the night. Saturday I had tickets for Ring of Honor’s Seventh Anniversary Show, and Sunday we had tickets to take my daughter to the circus.
Thursday morning I was feeling like death when my alarm went off and I really was having trouble getting up. My head felt so heavy and my throat was killing me. My wife urged me to stay home, especially with the weekend we had ahead, she thought that if I attempted going to work I would get really, really sick. So I called out of work, kissed my wife goodbye, and went back to sleep for about 4 or 5 more hours.
I was awakened by Leia crying at the bedroom door. I instantly knew what it was; our lab Luke has a new hobby, eating my CDs! The room he hangs out includes two large media storage towers, one houses my CD collection and the other houses my DVD collection. Luke has taken to removing CDs from the rack and destroying the cases and in some instances, the CDs themselves. The first victims were several irreplaceable mix CDs that Erin made for me complete with homemade inserts and CD labels. The next victim was my special edition copy of Release by the Pet Shop Boys, followed by a limited edition copy of the Psychedelic Furs Greatest Hits. On this day he had gotten his grubby little paws on Antics by Interpol.
At this point we really do not know what to do about Luke’s new irritating habit. First and foremost he could really hurt himself ingesting the shards of plastic from the cases or the booklets which are stapled together. The secondary concern of course is that I have worked really hard over a period of approximately eighteen years to build this collection and who the hell knows how much money I have spent on it at this point. Many CDs in my collection are from England, Germany, and Japan and many more have tremendous sentimental value. We may have to resort to crating Luke again as he cannot seem to keep out of trouble when left to his own devices.
Alas, back to the busy weekend! So, despite being mostly unconscious for the past two days passing most of the time in my bed with my husky Leia curled up next to me I dragged myself into the shower and then off to the elementary school to catch my daughter’s Girl Scout troop’s presentation of Passover. They did a pretty good job for a bunch of gentiles with my daughter being the only one of the lot with any Jewish blood. She’s a quarter Jewish thanks to my Mom’s side. I sat there for a little over two hours with my head heavy from Dayquil and sinusitis but I made it through, awake. It was then back home where I got Lyric tucked in for bed and headed off to bed myself.
Saturday morning arrived way too quickly for my tastes and it was up and time to get Lyric off to religion class. I decided as I got her up that I was not going to be able to make it to Jiu Jitsu class that day. My head felt like it weighed 50 pounds and I could not breathe through my nose in the slightest. These things are not conducive to a productive class. So, after Lyric’s class I brought her back home and had bagels with her and my Mom and then at my Mom’s insistence it was back to bed for me. Again I slept for several hours. Erin finally made it back home from AC and I was able to spend an hour with her before heading off to the city for a night of ROH action.
Right before the train arrived I bumped into an old friend I had not seen since my first year of college. I had bumped into her on facebook a few months ago but we just befriended each other and that was it. So, we rode into the city together and caught up on what we had been doing and how our lives had gone since we last spoke. It’s always good to run into old friends again and catch up. It’s one of my most favorite things actually.
I met up with my buddy Bob outside the Hammerstein Ballroom and we discussed the night’s show and what we were looking forward to catching that night. Bob was shocked when I did not make my usually pilgrimage to the merchandise table for new DVDs. I explained that I had just booked a trip to Ireland in May and as result wouldn’t be making any purchases. Bob was still shocked at my resolve, especially given the fact that throughout the night ROH kept announcing the buy 3 get 1 free sale they were having!
The first half of the show was incredibly lackluster and had both me and the Bob shaking our heads. The 6 Man Ultimate Endurance between Necro Butcher, Tyler Black and Delirious vs. Jimmy Jacobs, Brodie Lee and Austin Aries was absolutely horrible. The rules were convoluted and ridiculous and many fans found it hard to follow what the stipulations were despite Bobby Cruise announcing them in between falls. And I am getting really tired of Jimmy Jacobs vs everyone who used to be in the Age of the Fall. And on another note, what a crappy group, no one ever stays! Jacobs is the only left from the original quartet of himself, Black, Necro, and Lacey. Delirious was added on and his now out with the group now standing as Jacobs, Brodie Lee, occasionally MsChif, and occasionally Alison Wonderland. And what the hell is with Aries new gimmick? I get the change in attire and attitude, but there is no rule out there that says if you change your gimmick you suddenly forget how to wrestle! It’s cheap heat!
The show picked up steam in the second half with the mystery tag partner match which pitted Bison Smith accompanied by Prince Nana and Dirty Ernie Osiris and the returning Crown Jewel of the Embassy Jimmy Rave against American Dragon Bryan Danielson and the returning Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana. This match really got the crowd into the show as people popped huge for Jimmy’s return and even bigger for the return of Cabana.
D-Lo Brown vs. Jay Briscoe deflated the crowd again as no one was into Brown’s NYC debut and the match was a really crappy one to boot. The no DQ tag title match got people back into things but left me scratching my head. Steen was clearly injured going into the match and yet they didn’t move the belts off them. Hopefully we don’t head into a situation where again the tag champs were injured and they had a chance to move the belts in a match, chose not to, and then stripped them of the belts and had a tournament. I do not want that nonsense again.
We then got Nigel vs. KENTA for the ROH World Title and Nigel came in with his arm heavily taped up. Throughout the match it was terribly obvious that Nigel was really, legitimately injured. I can see why they didn’t move the belt here though; KENTA is a NOAH wrestler, on loan to ROH and cannot be counted on for consistent appearances. However, I do see the belt coming off Nigel sooner rather than later as I believe he is going to need surgery on his often injured arm.
Post show Bob and I headed off to our usual post show meal at the beloved Tick Tock Diner. We discussed Bob’s upcoming move, my trip to Ireland, some funny stories about my past and are doubts about ROH’s current direction under Booker Adam Pearce. As always it was a great time chatting it up with Bob and I look forward to our next show together.
Upon making it back into Penn Station I ran into my old buddy Vujeyva who I know through a friend’s younger brother. I often bump into him at shows as he is a fellow ROH fan. We asked each other what train we were on and when I realized his train was a half hour later than mine, to go to a town 5 minutes away from mine, I offered for him to hop on my train with me and I would give him a ride back to his car. He took me up on the offer and we spent the time conversing about ROH, other wrestling, music, what everyone from the “Group” had been up to, work, and other various topics. It was cool not to take the train by myself for once and I really enjoyed chatting it up with him.
I got home at 1:30 AM, took some Nyquil, and passed out until Erin woke me at 1 PM on Sunday afternoon. She offered repeatedly to take Lyric to the circus on her own but I just couldn’t do that to Lyric. I dragged my ass out of bed and into the shower and got myself dressed. Then Erin informed me that the night before Luke had gotten to one of my all time favorite albums, Ritual De Lo Habitual by Jane’s Addiction. I was completely incensed at this point. Erin blockaded the CD and DVD cases with chairs and a vacuum before we left and then it was off to the circus!
The circus was, well the circus. This is the second time we went in two years and I have to say, it doesn’t do anything for me and I would really not rather go anymore. I would also rather they not subject animals to the bull shit that they do. Both these circus trips have been through the Girl Scouts as I would not have sought to go otherwise.
After the circus we met up with my Mom at the Fred Robster for dinner (Richard Jenni fans will get this) and had an enjoyable meal as a family. Afterwards we dropped Lyric off at her mother’s and headed back home. Thus ending my way too busy a weekend for someone with a ridiculously bad sinus cold.
Before I sign off on this way too long blog, those of you who have been hounding me for an entry have now gotten what you asked for, I thought I would hit on one more thing. I received Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance as a Christmas gift from one of the doctors I work for. I have just recently been able to start reading the book as I received so many books for Christmas this year. And let me tell you, when you have a 90 minute commute to and from work each day, books are always a welcome present! This book can at times be a harrowing read and there have been several instances when I have had to put it down and just focus on the music on my iPod as my head has been spinning a bit. I have to say though; it has made me think of one of my favorite philosophical theories. That is that no man can stand in the same river twice, as both the man and the river are in a constant state of flux. The river will never be the same, and neither will the man.
I often think of the past, way more than I probably should, and change. We may look back on good times we had and good friends we share them with and these friends may no longer be a part or as big a part of our lives as they once were. We should not look back at this with sorrow but with joy at remembering the times we had. We must also remember that we are not that person anymore and neither are they. We should not constantly lament that they may no longer be in our lives but just enjoy the fact that they once were and the times we had with them. Times change, people come and go, but memories last forever.
Thanks for listening to me ramble again.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
U2, living in the moment, appreciating what we have
Last night I was taking the train home from seeing Watchmen with my good friend Shannon and several things coursed their way through my mind. The first was that U2's early albums are still absolutely incredible. I've worked my way through Boy, October, War, and I am now up to the Unforgettable Fire. Edge's guitar playing still stirs something up in me that I cannot quite describe. I just cannot get over how good a band they were so early in their career, I Will Follow is the first track on their first album, wrap your head around that!
And I know, I know, Bono wants to save the world...yadda, yadda, yadda...save it. They are incredible band who write incredible songs. Leave Bono's messianic complex at the door an just enjoy the music. It is possible to separate the two and there are worse things than wanting to put a stop to poverty and AIDS aren't there?
And yes, I have listened to the new album three times and I am still not falling in love with it. I decided to start over and work my way back. I want to enjoy the journey these boys from Dublin have made to get us to this point here in 2009. That's also something to think about, these fellows have been together without a break, making music, recording, touring, the whole deal, without a single line up change since 1976! That's 32 years!
OK, enough of the U2 fan boy nonsense, and no I am not Irish, I just marry Irish. This leads us to my next thought. I was thinking about my wife, Erin, and about some of my favorite memories of our six and a half years together. And I was thinking that some of my favorite memories are not of the huge life changing variety. I mean, of course, our wedding was fantastic and one of the most amazing nights of my life. And yes, it was amazing standing there holding her hand and staring up at Big Ben in London.
However, perhaps my favorite memory, is kissing her in the rain outside of her old apartment in Long Beach. And I thought about how early on in our relationship we were walking along the beach, it was at night and I was dressed in a really nice new pair of black slacks and Erin asked me to sit in the sand with her. I told her I didn't want to get sand all over my nice pants! What a fucking moron! How could I not sit in the sand by the ocean with this young woman that I was falling in love with?
Last night when Erin picked me up from the subway I was telling her how I felt that memories of the little things like those I have mentioned here were so important. And how much I regretted not sitting in the sand with her that night.
Sometimes we worry that my daughter is far too concerned with what everyone else is doing or will be doing and not what she herself is doing or will be doing. She always seems so concerned with what she may be missing or could have missed/will miss that she misses everything. She often does not seem to enjoy what she is doing because she gets so wrapped up in watching what everyone else is doing.
I know fear that she may have gotten this from me. Too many times I am looking back or ahead and not enjoying what I am doing. I am worried about what tomorrow will bring or what happened yesterday and not enjoying what I am doing. I think this is partly due to the fact that for a while I thought only of the moment and completely disregarded the consequences of my actions. I lived completely in the moment and was totally dedicated to doing whatever would make me most happy at that exact moment. This is not a good way to go about things either I soon found out.
So I think that in an effort to avoid this behavior I shifted to completely the opposite. I was always looking to what comes next and not what's going on now. What am I doing tomorrow or this weekend? That I have to be at work the next morning instead of enjoying the night I have to spend alone with my wife.
I've realized that I need to focus more on the moment, to enjoy the here and now and to not be rushing off to tomorrow or next weekend. It is good to have things to look forward to but not so much so that you don't enjoy where you are at present. I need to stop worrying about the fact that I may not be perfectly mastering a technique in Jiu Jitsu and appreciate the moment that I am being taught and the privilege of learning from such great instructors. I need to stop and enjoy my daughter giggling as I tease her or makes jokes and stop worrying about what time she has to be at a Girl Scouts function the next day. I need to enjoy sitting and watching a movie with my wife's head on my chest and stop thinking about how much work I have on my desk waiting for me the next day.
I also thought about the fact that there are so many people out there right now who have it so much worse than I do. I know that sometimes I can be overcome by thoughts of sorrow or hopelessness or frustration and that part of that is genetic and part of it is my own obsessing over meaningless crap. I am a lucky man, I am married to a fantastic woman, I have a wonderful daughter, my wife and I have good jobs, and a nice house. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends.
I have lost my father, who was one of my absolute most favorite people in the entire world. But I have not lost everything. And instead of focusing on the fact that I lost someone that I loved so very much, I think I need to try and focus more on the fact that I still have so many people who I love and who love me so very much. And to be grateful for what I do have instead of being so angry about what I no longer have anymore. And I need also need to be grateful for all those years I did have with my father. I got a little over 32 years with him and that's 29 more than Erin got with her Dad. And I need to cherish those memories, instead of regretting that there will not be more of them.
So I just want to say, stop living in the past, stop longing for the future, and live in and love the moment that you are in.
And I know, I know, Bono wants to save the world...yadda, yadda, yadda...save it. They are incredible band who write incredible songs. Leave Bono's messianic complex at the door an just enjoy the music. It is possible to separate the two and there are worse things than wanting to put a stop to poverty and AIDS aren't there?
And yes, I have listened to the new album three times and I am still not falling in love with it. I decided to start over and work my way back. I want to enjoy the journey these boys from Dublin have made to get us to this point here in 2009. That's also something to think about, these fellows have been together without a break, making music, recording, touring, the whole deal, without a single line up change since 1976! That's 32 years!
OK, enough of the U2 fan boy nonsense, and no I am not Irish, I just marry Irish. This leads us to my next thought. I was thinking about my wife, Erin, and about some of my favorite memories of our six and a half years together. And I was thinking that some of my favorite memories are not of the huge life changing variety. I mean, of course, our wedding was fantastic and one of the most amazing nights of my life. And yes, it was amazing standing there holding her hand and staring up at Big Ben in London.
However, perhaps my favorite memory, is kissing her in the rain outside of her old apartment in Long Beach. And I thought about how early on in our relationship we were walking along the beach, it was at night and I was dressed in a really nice new pair of black slacks and Erin asked me to sit in the sand with her. I told her I didn't want to get sand all over my nice pants! What a fucking moron! How could I not sit in the sand by the ocean with this young woman that I was falling in love with?
Last night when Erin picked me up from the subway I was telling her how I felt that memories of the little things like those I have mentioned here were so important. And how much I regretted not sitting in the sand with her that night.
Sometimes we worry that my daughter is far too concerned with what everyone else is doing or will be doing and not what she herself is doing or will be doing. She always seems so concerned with what she may be missing or could have missed/will miss that she misses everything. She often does not seem to enjoy what she is doing because she gets so wrapped up in watching what everyone else is doing.
I know fear that she may have gotten this from me. Too many times I am looking back or ahead and not enjoying what I am doing. I am worried about what tomorrow will bring or what happened yesterday and not enjoying what I am doing. I think this is partly due to the fact that for a while I thought only of the moment and completely disregarded the consequences of my actions. I lived completely in the moment and was totally dedicated to doing whatever would make me most happy at that exact moment. This is not a good way to go about things either I soon found out.
So I think that in an effort to avoid this behavior I shifted to completely the opposite. I was always looking to what comes next and not what's going on now. What am I doing tomorrow or this weekend? That I have to be at work the next morning instead of enjoying the night I have to spend alone with my wife.
I've realized that I need to focus more on the moment, to enjoy the here and now and to not be rushing off to tomorrow or next weekend. It is good to have things to look forward to but not so much so that you don't enjoy where you are at present. I need to stop worrying about the fact that I may not be perfectly mastering a technique in Jiu Jitsu and appreciate the moment that I am being taught and the privilege of learning from such great instructors. I need to stop and enjoy my daughter giggling as I tease her or makes jokes and stop worrying about what time she has to be at a Girl Scouts function the next day. I need to enjoy sitting and watching a movie with my wife's head on my chest and stop thinking about how much work I have on my desk waiting for me the next day.
I also thought about the fact that there are so many people out there right now who have it so much worse than I do. I know that sometimes I can be overcome by thoughts of sorrow or hopelessness or frustration and that part of that is genetic and part of it is my own obsessing over meaningless crap. I am a lucky man, I am married to a fantastic woman, I have a wonderful daughter, my wife and I have good jobs, and a nice house. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends.
I have lost my father, who was one of my absolute most favorite people in the entire world. But I have not lost everything. And instead of focusing on the fact that I lost someone that I loved so very much, I think I need to try and focus more on the fact that I still have so many people who I love and who love me so very much. And to be grateful for what I do have instead of being so angry about what I no longer have anymore. And I need also need to be grateful for all those years I did have with my father. I got a little over 32 years with him and that's 29 more than Erin got with her Dad. And I need to cherish those memories, instead of regretting that there will not be more of them.
So I just want to say, stop living in the past, stop longing for the future, and live in and love the moment that you are in.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Music influences and the album reclamation project
I love music, I really, really love music. I own over a thousand CDs and I have downloaded many, many more albums since acquiring my first iPod as an anniversary present from my wife Erin.
My older brother Frank and close friends Earl Maneein, Chris Gavagan, Chris Brady, and Shannon Gramas have each had major impacts on my musical choices throughout the years. Growing up Frank opened up his vast music collection with only two rules: put it back where you found it and don't leave the house with it. He's also the reason why my own collection has always been in alphabetical order by artist and chronological order within each artist.
Earl and I have been close friends since we were 11 years old way back in 1987. At the time our musical obsessions were hard rock bands like Def Leppard and Guns N' Roses. This led us into an obsession with metal acts such as Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth, Slayer, Suicidal Tendencies, and Pantera. We later shifted over into alternative acts such as Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, and Pearl Jam.
In my later High School years Frank's growing obsession with New Wave, Industrial, and Brit Pop began to take over my musical interests. Soon enough Frank's favorite band became mine and it's the same band for the both of us to this day, Depeche Mode. Through Frank I was introduced to the bands that are still my favorites to this day: Depeche Mode, the Cure, the Smiths, Morrissey, U2, and Nine Inch Nails. I also found a love for Duran Duran, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Ministry, Nitzer Ebb, Joy Division, and Erasure. Earl became a big fan of these bands as well and introduced me to Alphaville.
My New Wave & Industrial obsession continued on in college and flavors of Goth were added to the mix with Bauhaus and Cranes leading the charge. I began going to clubs two to three nights a week and dancing my ass off to retro 80s New Wave as well as 90s synthpop, goth, and industrial.
I met Chris Gavagan in January of 1996 and we formed a quick and close bond based on music, film, hockey, Star Wars, & GI Joe. Chris was into a lot of the bands I was like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Depeche Mode, the Cure, Duran Duran, and Rollins Band. He helped me get into the Dead Kennedys, Sublime, 311, and Cat Stevens. I have many fantastic memories of driving around in Chris' blue camaro blasting DM, 311, and Sublime and singing our hearts out. In later years Chris and I have handed each other tons of CDs peaking each others interests in many bands like Alkaline Trio, Coldplay, Anti-Flag, and Mindless Self Indulgence. Chris and I also share a love of tattoos and have been there to watch each other bleed many a time!
Chris Brady and I met when we both worked at Tower Records. Our friendship started with common interests in stand up comedy, music, and pro wrestling. Chris is responsible for getting me into bands like Flickerstick, Wilco, Ryan Adams, and Ben Kweller. I'll never forget that New Year's Eve we spent at a packed Irving Plaza watching Vida Blue blow the roof off the place. When midnight struck and they played Instant Karma, it was an awesome experience. In recent months Chris and I started taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu together and it's a real blast training twice a week with one of my closest friends!
I met Shannon Gramas in February of 2005 when I first started working at ITN. I happened passed his cubicle when I heard music playing. I saw this dude sitting there with stacks of CDs on his desk and I was digging the music he was playing. I struck up a conversation and I've been friends with the guy ever since. He's one of my favorite people to talk music with and I love waxing nostalgic about 80s cartoons and comics with him. Shannon got me into Jeff Buckley, Iron and Wine, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Neutral Milk Hotel, Cat Power, M83 and a slew of other artists. The Gramas is a musical encyclopedia and I love sharing music with him.
A lot of people out there like to blame iTunes and the iPod for ruining the idea of the album. I decided to do a bit of musical soul searching and I realized that I most often either had my iPod on shuffle or would be listening to one of my play lists. Now, shuffle is one of the most fantastic things about the iPod or any digital music player. Especially when you have over 6,000 tracks on your iPod covering a vast array of genres. One minute I am listening to Depeche Mode, the next Cat Stevens, then James Brown, then Pop Will Eat Itself and so on.
However, I realized that the only time I had been listening to albums was when I downloaded or uploaded a new one. So I decided to do a little project, I was going to listen to all the albums of some of my favorite acts in chronological order. This way I could appreciate the individual albums and the growth and change of the artists themselves.
I started off with my all time favorite act, Depeche Mode. Listening to the whole albums really makes you remember how much you loved certain tracks that weren't necessarily hits or the best tracks on the album, but that struck you anyway. I love Puppets and Love In Itself! I finished off my DM experiment last night and I can say that Black Celebration is still my favorite album of theirs and that Exciter is still my least favorite. And Blue Dress off of the Violator album still mesmerizes me like no other track.
I took a brief detour in my project with the release of Morrissey's latest album Years Of Refusal. Holy crap am I in love with this album! It's just a wonderful example of Morrissey's incomparable lyrical wit and some great rocking guitars featured on quite a few tracks. If you love the Moz, buy this, now!
And I am back on track with my little project now moving on to...the Smiths! I decided to go with the Smiths next after drooling all over Morrissey's latest solo triumph. So far this morning I've listened to the Smiths and began Meat Is Murder. Goddamn this is a fantastic band that wrote fantastic music!
I think I've gone on long enough about my musical interests and my ongoing album reclamation project for now. I hope everyone reading this is happy and well. Until next time, keep your head up.
My older brother Frank and close friends Earl Maneein, Chris Gavagan, Chris Brady, and Shannon Gramas have each had major impacts on my musical choices throughout the years. Growing up Frank opened up his vast music collection with only two rules: put it back where you found it and don't leave the house with it. He's also the reason why my own collection has always been in alphabetical order by artist and chronological order within each artist.
Earl and I have been close friends since we were 11 years old way back in 1987. At the time our musical obsessions were hard rock bands like Def Leppard and Guns N' Roses. This led us into an obsession with metal acts such as Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth, Slayer, Suicidal Tendencies, and Pantera. We later shifted over into alternative acts such as Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, and Pearl Jam.
In my later High School years Frank's growing obsession with New Wave, Industrial, and Brit Pop began to take over my musical interests. Soon enough Frank's favorite band became mine and it's the same band for the both of us to this day, Depeche Mode. Through Frank I was introduced to the bands that are still my favorites to this day: Depeche Mode, the Cure, the Smiths, Morrissey, U2, and Nine Inch Nails. I also found a love for Duran Duran, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Ministry, Nitzer Ebb, Joy Division, and Erasure. Earl became a big fan of these bands as well and introduced me to Alphaville.
My New Wave & Industrial obsession continued on in college and flavors of Goth were added to the mix with Bauhaus and Cranes leading the charge. I began going to clubs two to three nights a week and dancing my ass off to retro 80s New Wave as well as 90s synthpop, goth, and industrial.
I met Chris Gavagan in January of 1996 and we formed a quick and close bond based on music, film, hockey, Star Wars, & GI Joe. Chris was into a lot of the bands I was like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Depeche Mode, the Cure, Duran Duran, and Rollins Band. He helped me get into the Dead Kennedys, Sublime, 311, and Cat Stevens. I have many fantastic memories of driving around in Chris' blue camaro blasting DM, 311, and Sublime and singing our hearts out. In later years Chris and I have handed each other tons of CDs peaking each others interests in many bands like Alkaline Trio, Coldplay, Anti-Flag, and Mindless Self Indulgence. Chris and I also share a love of tattoos and have been there to watch each other bleed many a time!
Chris Brady and I met when we both worked at Tower Records. Our friendship started with common interests in stand up comedy, music, and pro wrestling. Chris is responsible for getting me into bands like Flickerstick, Wilco, Ryan Adams, and Ben Kweller. I'll never forget that New Year's Eve we spent at a packed Irving Plaza watching Vida Blue blow the roof off the place. When midnight struck and they played Instant Karma, it was an awesome experience. In recent months Chris and I started taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu together and it's a real blast training twice a week with one of my closest friends!
I met Shannon Gramas in February of 2005 when I first started working at ITN. I happened passed his cubicle when I heard music playing. I saw this dude sitting there with stacks of CDs on his desk and I was digging the music he was playing. I struck up a conversation and I've been friends with the guy ever since. He's one of my favorite people to talk music with and I love waxing nostalgic about 80s cartoons and comics with him. Shannon got me into Jeff Buckley, Iron and Wine, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Neutral Milk Hotel, Cat Power, M83 and a slew of other artists. The Gramas is a musical encyclopedia and I love sharing music with him.
A lot of people out there like to blame iTunes and the iPod for ruining the idea of the album. I decided to do a bit of musical soul searching and I realized that I most often either had my iPod on shuffle or would be listening to one of my play lists. Now, shuffle is one of the most fantastic things about the iPod or any digital music player. Especially when you have over 6,000 tracks on your iPod covering a vast array of genres. One minute I am listening to Depeche Mode, the next Cat Stevens, then James Brown, then Pop Will Eat Itself and so on.
However, I realized that the only time I had been listening to albums was when I downloaded or uploaded a new one. So I decided to do a little project, I was going to listen to all the albums of some of my favorite acts in chronological order. This way I could appreciate the individual albums and the growth and change of the artists themselves.
I started off with my all time favorite act, Depeche Mode. Listening to the whole albums really makes you remember how much you loved certain tracks that weren't necessarily hits or the best tracks on the album, but that struck you anyway. I love Puppets and Love In Itself! I finished off my DM experiment last night and I can say that Black Celebration is still my favorite album of theirs and that Exciter is still my least favorite. And Blue Dress off of the Violator album still mesmerizes me like no other track.
I took a brief detour in my project with the release of Morrissey's latest album Years Of Refusal. Holy crap am I in love with this album! It's just a wonderful example of Morrissey's incomparable lyrical wit and some great rocking guitars featured on quite a few tracks. If you love the Moz, buy this, now!
And I am back on track with my little project now moving on to...the Smiths! I decided to go with the Smiths next after drooling all over Morrissey's latest solo triumph. So far this morning I've listened to the Smiths and began Meat Is Murder. Goddamn this is a fantastic band that wrote fantastic music!
I think I've gone on long enough about my musical interests and my ongoing album reclamation project for now. I hope everyone reading this is happy and well. Until next time, keep your head up.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Hunting For Joy
Pain is a necessity, grief is a given, joy is an endangered species. Let's go hunting again.
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